covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
