i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
