Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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