I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
