Your dad touched me again.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
