i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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