Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
