Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
