he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i need some magic done to my vagina
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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