I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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