Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
