Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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