i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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