its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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