That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
