Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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