Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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