All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
