just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
