Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
