Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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