He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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