i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
