I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
