I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need help removing her.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
