If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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