You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
