Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
