The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize