I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
