I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
