The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
