she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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