I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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