I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
