she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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