Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
