C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
