i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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