This girl is more easily done than said...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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