On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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