Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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