Nicole vs. Life
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
