i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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