i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
