guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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