i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we should paint friendship bongs
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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