He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
