1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
