too bad you live with your parents still
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
