Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
