Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
