Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We had sex on a dog bed..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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