Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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