He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
