Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
