Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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