So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
