I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
