jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
