Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
