Sry I called you an 8
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
