I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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